Both social media and traditional media have become a monster that provides a vehicle for people to share information with those near and far, instantaneously. Oftentimes, when tragedy strikes, people have a knee-jerk reaction to post something, share information, write an article, etc., before they have fully considered the repercussions. Regardless of the fact that the information of one’s death is considered to be public knowledge—never before has this misuse of public knowledge been so personal for me. Truly, my eyes have been opened to the broken moral compass directing our society.
I am deeply troubled that this is no longer a society that values respect. Somehow, through learned patterns, we have forgotten the simple courtesy of respect for one another. Please do not misunderstand me, I realize that people “want to know” when incidents occur and the media has a “duty to report the facts”—but there is certainly a clearly defined line between reporting the facts and exploiting extraordinarily personal details.
It is far past time for the media and us, as a society, to be forced to take responsibility for our actions. Ethically, the media should have a strict and firm policy that suicide is not, under any circumstance, news—the primary part of this policy is out of pure respect and professionalism. We must stop allowing the media and our society to make tragedies a source of our perverse entertainment.
Several days ago, the life of one of the most amazingly inspiring men I have ever known, came to a tragic end. In the midst of both personal and professional battles, Dr. Barry Allen Bowe was what I can honestly call a true solider for the cause—he had a matchless tenacity and passion for the success of his job, his schools and most important, for his kids—they were his driving force.
The countless lives that Barry touched over his many years in education are the very people who will carry on the remarkable and dignified legacy he leaves behind—a legacy that, now to my sorrowful disappointment, has been defiled by the obsession with information and our society’s incessant need to be informed about every detail of someone’s life—and death.
I am taking this opportunity to let you know—writers, editors and consumers of media—that I am genuinely disgusted as to how this tragic incident has been handled. For someone who deserves the utmost respect, Barry [and his family] has been subject to an unfortunate level of personal invasion.
It is true—my uncle, Barry Bowe, passed away suddenly on Monday, January 23, 2012—it is a day that will forever be changed in my mind. He passed away at his home and was found there by the authorities. These two details would have satisfied the public’s need to know what happened.
However, the CMS security services and local law enforcement, writers, reporters and other media chose to release the most intimate, personal details about his state of being, method and cause of death. For me, this violated the line between reporting the facts and malicious exploitation. They should be ashamed. It is a disgrace and personal heartbreak for me that the privacy and dignity that we deserve was not respected for the purpose of a personal or professional gain, and for the purpose of feeding people’s need to know more.
To all of you I say this— I, along with everyone touched during his 54 years on Earth, refuse to remember my uncle Barry for how he died, but instead remember him for how he lived—and how, through him so many others have lived also—and now that he’s gone, how he will live on in us through the lessons of compassion, dedication, acceptance and love that he represented every single day.
I pray that we would all somehow remember how to love, honor and respect one another – to come together to support in private and to learn to respect others’ personal tragedies. I am desperate that we, as a society, can once again understand what it’s like to be humans that grieve, and to fully realize how we deal with others’ tragedy [by revealing personal details, and feeding the conversation] will impact those involved—and the impact it ultimately has on everyone.
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Carrie Bowe
